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Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
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3:08 pm
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WOOO!
So I'm done with training and actually working now. Yeah, I get these old crotches every once in a while.... like the old 90 year old man who started raving about how he shoulda gone to Mernards! He wouldn't have had to stand for 2 minutes while the guy ahead of him figured out what was wrong with his card at Mernards! Oh god! Poor soul!
Then there was this guy who was so up in the ass about SOMETHING he didn't even notice he'd accidentally pressed the cancel button on the payment pad so, get this, he had to SWIPE HIS CARD AGAIN! Man... these people never get a break! I ask him to swipe his card again he goes "Jesus Christ!" and swipes it all pissy like.
*Zen pose* It's okay... you're gonna get benefits in 3 months.
Also... I'm proud that an old friend of mine just came out as Tran. X3 I'm not gonna say who cause that's mean to call someone out like that and I don't think it's my place to share, but I read it and went "WHAAAAAA? REEEally now..." I know some... well, most of you know him... her too so that'd be bad to share. *nods solemnly*
Gah! I hate that! Makes me feel so dumb. *hits self in head* He = she now, got it? >_
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| Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
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2:26 am
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So I start work at the Home Depot in the quarry tomorrow morning (well, this morning technically) at 10am... still dunno how I'm going to get there exactly. Gonna try to get up at 8 anyways... even though it's only about 5 1/2 hours away. S'gonna hurt for sure.
Laura came to rescue today as well. After taking Chance to the vet I came home, went to take a shower, and got the call from Home Depot. They wanted me there in either 20 minutes to fill out some paper work or else there later at about 3-4ish. After saying (being completely nude at the moment) that I could make the later time I then asked mom if she could take me. She could not... unless I wanted to leave right then or right after my shower (it was only about 11am). So I called Laura and she said she could. I bought her Leeann Chin in return, and after the 15 minute paperwork session (which turned into 45 minutes since they couldn't seem to find the paperwork) I bought her a cookie dough blizzard in celebration.
Got Ana caught up to Doomsday in Doctor Who. We'll have to rent the Christmas episode with Catherine Tate since the cheap knockoff Chinese set doesn't include Christmas episodes.
Watching Doctor Who always leaves me feeling both happy and sad. Sad since, of course, it's really all just made up and there's no such thing as fantastically idiotic men flying around in odd boxes and there's no chance in hell I'd be able to take part in any of it due to it's non-existence. Happy because even if it isn't real, look how clever we were to think up something so fantastic that can make people dream of all kinds of other things they've never even seen and inspire them to long for more.
But I've also come to the conclusion that my worst fear isn't wood chippers, it's comfortable patterns. Being faced with a long term job is making me very nervous. Like pit of the stomach going to throw the crap up nervous. I never felt this way when it came to Malmborg's or Linder's, even on sales days.
I think it's because I'm worried I'm going to either fall into a nice comfortable pattern of work, be so focused on doing good on work that I forget about my masters and all my little hobbies and curiosities will just go to waste... or fail at keeping up the facade of loving work for such a long period of time. With Malmborg's I kept thinking "Burn myself out until the last possible moment then I can rest it up." But here there'll be no "last possible moment." Will I feel compelled to burn myself up for the sake of doing a hard days work and lose myself, or will I be mediocre and faulty and fail anyways due to lack of money and job in the end?
Yeah, it sound stupid. Of course I'm going to work hard as I can, but I'm still worried I'll just become another statistic... though that's really all most of us are I think. I'm not saying I want to hop onto the nearest blue box and travel the universe, though that would be fun. I'm just saying I kind of feel like I'm not going to do... anything... with my life. Like of importance. I'll get my place, work my ass off for minimum wage, struggle for benefits, always dream of the Master's I'm going to get one day when I've saved up enough, fight my weight.
It'll be the little things though that will start to drive me mad I'm certain. Just like the Polar Bears in a pen too small for them. Little habits to ritualize the day. Almost a sacred good luck charm, but in reality it's just something to make a game of what's become so dull you're screaming in your head.
Brushing my teeth in the same fashion (Insides, tops, outsides, gums, cheeks, roof of mouth, tongue... I have to end with almost making myself gag), "equipping" my items (keys on belt loop, wallet in left pocket, Ipod in right), parking in the same spot (when I get a car), putting my time card back in the same spot I always do in the same angle, pulling peoples cards through the machine at the same angle repeatedly, money all face up and heads pointing to the right, taking a shower (wash hair, wash face starting with the forehead and ending with neck, wash in a north to south manner, clean intimate areas, finish with cleaning feet, clean ears with q-tips, make sure nose isn't stuffed), sleep (Head facing door, one leg up, place glasses on desk, ear thing on table, bra on floor next to bed, long pillow by wall, bear next to that, regular pillow beneath bear and by feet, blanket for when it gets cold between that and self, pillow right to the left of me, and one pillow under my head, arm under the pillow)... those are what I've had so far. Rituals I either still have or seem to get easily like OCD and that make me feel very nervous.
It really does remind me of when I went to Como to see the polar bear and all it did was swim around and around, doing th same exact thing over and over like it was a game to see how similar it could do it to the last time. Like it was counting how many times it could go around to see if it could lose count today. Like it was waiting for the floor of it's pool to burst open into something else so it would have to worry about completing it's rotations anymore... or maybe it had forgotten what it wanted to happen and was simply blank in the head while having at it's rituals.
For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, Como Zoo is the face of what not to do when planning a zoo. That bear died and they shouldn't be allowed to replace it. I don't know if they did or not, but it was disgusting. The bear had two cycles it would do constantly and unceasingly. Here they both are: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxH96ZXFJdY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzXRYzO-GUs
So... now that I have a job here's the list of things I'm going to save up to afford, in order of most to least important to me:
-Getting my teeth checked out (my lower left wisdom tooth is peeking out finally) -Apartment -Cel Phone -Car -That Doll -Masters in Physical Anthropology -Legitimate Doctor Who
Well, 6 hours now. Better head off to bed.
I'm sure things won't be as depressing as all that... especially with Heidi coming down for good. Things seem to always get better when she's finally around.
OH! Does anyone remember the name of that game where you're the little ship flying around and bamfing the different parts of a song so that the different sections play? Sort of the precursor to the Guitar Hero and Rock Band things?
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| Friday, September 18th, 2009
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9:10 pm
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So... I peed in a cup. I'm hoping that means I have a job... at Home Depot.... part time.
I'm happy she was really nice because I went to the wrong Home Depot. I was supposed to go to the one in Northeast, and somehow heard "Northtown" over the phone.... and... went in asking for Jenny... and... they said "Well... there's no Jenny here..." Luckily one guy said "Oh! I worked with Jenny though! Yeah, she's at the Northeast location!" and they gave me a little map to get down there, and Heidi hoofed it... and... we got lost. So I ran into a McDonalds and said "Hi! I have a job interview at the Home Depot by the quarry that I'm late for and I'm not sure how to get there. Everyone there prety much turned their attention to me and told me how to get there. It was awesome! XD The people at he McDonalds in Roseville ROCK!
So we got there a half hour late... but I still got to pee in a cup! YEAH!
I'm a bit nervous because I did really well in the Aerotek interview as well but that's more like a temp place, so if possible I'd rather have the Home Depot job, but I don't want to tell the Aerotek place until Home Depot is solid... and Aerotek's been actually finding me potential jobs (though they never seem to pan out). So if they somehow get me a job before Home Depot gets me settled in I'll have to just flat out turn 'em down rather than say "Well, sorry but I got a part timer, but here's my hours so I'll still be able to work something that's only on [enter free day here]."
Yeah, I shouldn't worry about temp places, but I don't like burning bridges.
OH! Heidi peed in a cup for Target and starts in 2 weeks.
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| Monday, September 14th, 2009
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11:20 am
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Job interview at 1pm. Was just told about it this morning. It's through the job placement place,some place called Aerotek. They didn't say how long the job would last but it'd be $12/hour and it'd be checking over insurance documents to make sure all the info is there and right and then I'd be doing basic data entry. Sadly I don't think she mentioned how long the job would be.
I'm very nervous for some reason. I'm worried they'll give me a typing test and I'll magically not be the speed typist I usually am or I'll make a lot of mistakes... and they'll probably do that number test again and random numbers really aren't my strong suit, especially when they're all mushed together like they were in that test at Kelly... or they'll make me pee in a cup and I won't be able to since I have my monthly.
I mean, the woman on the phone sounds very friendly but that's not who I'm meeting with today she said... I think because she found this job at such short notice.
I should call Home Depot and see if they have anything available anyways...
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| Saturday, September 12th, 2009
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5:35 pm - OBAAAAAMA!
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So we were okay on time. We left at about 7am and had until 9:30 when they opened the doors and THEN had until about 12:30 until his speech. So... plenty of time. Ate a ham sandwich before I left... which was a big mistake. Stomach felt all topsy turvy. So of course I had a mocha frappucino! *thumbs up* With lots of whip cream! And this weird Greek yogurt and honey thing at Starbucks.
Surprisingly though it helped my stomach calm down.
It was really a pretty smoothly done entry into he place. We were 4 rows up from the floor and right across from him. Only thing in between us and him was the cameras/news people and the volunteers that got to stand right in front of the stage and look up his nose.
They started passing out little flags too, but they ran out right before they got to us. I'm still really upset I didn't get one. Mom mentioned AFTERWARDS that the kids were picking them up from under the seats when everyone else was done with them and left them on the floor. Blah.
His speech was very inspiring and reassuring, two things I think he was going for. He basically said he was going to keep fighting for a public option and was going to put an end to all the lies being spread about his plan. He also pretty much apologized, in the presidential way, for all the people treating this like a big political stunt (COUGHPAWLENTYWHOWASN'TEVENTHERECOUGH!) instead of truly trying to work together to get things done for the good of everyone.
Another funny detail, at some point during his speech there was a heckler, though I didn't hear what he yelled out because whatever he said was immediately followed by boos and the guy was literally pushed up the stairs and out of the stadium. The boos even made Obama look up but I think he saw what was going on and just continued with his speech... so if you hear some random boos during the speech that's what that was. It was up and to his left.
I also found it funny that he considered the woman who was 5'3" "short" when that was most of Minnesota's height. XD
Then we filed out chanting "Ready to Go!" after someone yelled "Fired up?" and went to Jimmy Johns and got sandwiches... and then my stomach started acting up again and gurgling really weird. Mom said hers was too. *shrugs* She blamed the bran muffin but if it was both of us then I'm betting on something we both ate.
The world's biggest Obama fan was HUGE!
Alright, here's a YouTube vid of the speech: Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgClMR4h1Mw Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtC66eSP-kc Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAFButMe_Yw (At :15 of part 3 he states he wants a public option still) Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r33VI2QJjh0 (At :05 of part 4 is when the heckler got pushed out)
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6:50 am
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Woke up late to head to Obama's thing! I feel like Fievel and his friend at that one part in American Tale when they wake up late for the mouse revolution. >_>
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| Friday, September 11th, 2009
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10:15 pm
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Places I've applied to today: Michael's. Also, I stopped into Home Depot and they said they did have a few positions open, I'd just have to call "Michelle" on Monday to see which ones and whether I appeared qualified for them according to the resume I sent in online. *crosses fingers* That would be a really nice one since I think it has benefits.
And I got a call today form someone that saw my resume on Monster. It's a job placement place, but they sound better than Kelly's so I'm willing if they have work. They must be better if they're seeking out people at least, since Kelly's could have cared left.
Got the Atari working. Mostly my dad did. Main problem was the power cord that had been cut off. I was looking for a specific part: a 1/8 inch phone plug... specifically something 9volts with a 500 ma power supply... and dad found a 500 ma power supply and spliced it onto the positive tip I had. Anyways, we thought it wasn't working, but then realize that was because it only would work in an RCA slot on newer TVs (channel 2 or 3) but it only has one of those round VCA pegs... which today are only used for "video2 or video 3." So dad spliced together an adapter after not finding the one I needed at Home Depot.
Then I broke into the bag Heidi left me when she came to visit and there were 2 Atari controllers and a crap ton of games.
Also, good news. Anna has a job. She got a call for an interview for today and they said yes. And, Heidi has an interview for a part time at Target in a couple days so she's coming down this week to stay a bit. She says if it's part time as in 30 hours a week it'll be fine to just come down and stay but if it's part time as in like 10 hours a week then it'll have to be a no.
Lastly... going to see Obama at the Target Center tomorrow.
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1:16 am
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SO many... applications. >_< Applied to Home Depot, Cub and tried to apply to Target but their site kept telling me there was an unacceptable character somewhere in my job history even after I deleted and retyped only the bare minimum. So I smashed my face on the keyboard some, then went and put my resume up on Monster, snagajob, careerbuilder and something called Brightfuse.
*weeps* And those damn psychological tests. Cub Foods is the worst.
Ex, Any troubles you have are your own fault. - Strongly Disagree - Disagree - Agree - Strongly Agree - Wtf?
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| Thursday, September 10th, 2009
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3:21 am
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I can feel myself slip into that same old depression again and it sort of scares me. The only thing that seems to get me out of it is having something to do, like school or work, neither of which I have right now and one of which I can't seem to get no matter how hard I'd try.
Truthfully I haven't started really freaking out since my filling in for Susan ended, but I've just gotten so sick of writing my name, address, phone number, previous employers, school history, personal references, professional references, checking dumb little boxes, writing pointlessly empty paragraphs about why I want the job and why I think I'm better than all the other losers like me applying for a job they'll never get. All the time I'm writing all I can think anymore is how pointless filling all this out is. How whoever gets it will stick it in a folder inside a plastic box of files which will sit there until they clean it out and toss out all the files... only so they can tell me when I call within the week that the position's been filled already.
I don't think I can take much more of it. If I was constantly having to switch jobs that would be one thing, if I occasionally got lucky and hired... but this is too much.
There must be something wrong with me that I can't get hired.
I think I'm a good worker. I love getting to know the people I work with and helping customers... I really do. I love a good days work where I'd filled every moment with doing something to better the place I'm working at, from working on a display to straightening up how the stapler is aligned with the corner of my desk. I don't sass back, I avoid talking about religion and politics at work (unless the subject is brought up to me and even then I'm hesitant about making any real opinionated claims), I stay an extra 5 minutes, I love racing to see if I can get tasks done before the end of the day...
Yet there must be something wrong that I can't see.
I really wish I could figure out what it was.
So how am I feeling about the future I thought I'd spend finding lost civilizations?
Heidi's never going to come to the cities, Anna's making me feel guilty about "tricking" her to leave her job and come to the city in hopes of rooming with us (not how she put it but "in that case I should have just stayed up in Moorhead where I had a job."), and I'm going to live with my parents where I'll slowly run out of money and drain on their finances even more. I'll get a minimum wage job when I'm an old maid, I'll never meet anyone to love or be loved by and I'll die alone without children after caring for my dying parents and sister.
I've found I'm mediocre at pretty much everything I could potentially make a career out of.
Music, I can sing a bit but it's very generic and I'm slightly flat. Writing, I can write a few sentences but what do I have to say? Drawing, I can draw hands. Woop dee freakin' doo. Too bad it's still shit. Pottery, I get the idea but it always turns out wrong and fugly as sin. Carving, ouch. Plants, so I can keep some things alive. Who's going to pay me to grow avocados? Archaeology, whatever I know there's someone who knows it 20 times better and has better ideas. CG, I can make a box! Woo! Programming, I don't think so. Sewing, the pants I made for my doll split their seems... all of them.
And that's pretty much it. I'm completely useless for anything I'd ever want to do. *shrugs*
Suppose I could throw myself off a bridge if I weren't so afraid of pain.
No I'm not going to off myself. I have to take care of my aging parents before I go... if I even get any income.
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| Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
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10:56 am
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I kind of think viral adds hove gone to far as of late. You know, the purpose is to make it obvious your site is a fake, not scare superstitious grandmas.
http://www.instituteforhumancontinuity.org/?hs308=email&fbid=aJFl9dBwsEM
It's an ad for a movie very cleverly masked as a site telling people to go somewhere else in preparation for the end of the world in 2012. It would be fine if this was sent to people who were already part of the viral campaign, as there's obvious ways of finding it's a fake. Then it's sort of eerie and fun, but I guess they've been sending a mock advert e-mail to people warning them that the events of 2012 are real and unavoidable... and a random planet will defy logic and come smack into the earth like one of those things people set on their desks with the little balls that click back and forth..
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| Tuesday, September 8th, 2009
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3:49 pm
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12:48 pm - Rett Syndrom News
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http://www.marketwire.com/press-release/Braasch-Biotech-Llc-1037458.html
Sounds like they've found a plausible way to unblock the proteins getting inhibited. I'm not going to get my hopes up though. I'm still sticking with my time table just to be safe. 2013 is still in my head when they're going to get he cure... and with how much they have to test this thing first (should it work), and how long it will probably take to get through all the paper work and financial BS to even get it once it's been solidified as the cure, it might just take that long anyways for Siri to obtain it.
In other words, it's our job to keep her alive and fighting until then.
I still keep thinking about that moronic man and woman that cut off their daughters breasts and removed her ovaries just so they wouldn't have to explain puberty to her. Said "so she wouldn't have to go through that pain and suffering going through something she doesn't understand." No, instead you'll make her go through the pain and suffering of a VERY PAINFUL and permanent surgery just so you don't have to deal with explaining things to her, or have to deal with her acting up a bit when she wants a little bit of IB profuen.
And you know what, you doubting assholes, I hope she survives until that cure's available. Want to know why? Because after she gets the cure she'll just stand up and say to you "I hate what you've done to me, because you looked at me as a commodity, as a little doll that you could dress up forever and that would never grow up." And you know what, you'll have to live with the guilt that she STILL can't live like a normal woman, not because of some genetic defect or accident, but because of what you did to her. It's because of how you butchered her when she was four.
Siri's had her period for some time now. She has boobs as well. We buy these things called bras for her, and give her a bit of IB profuen when her stomach hurts because of cramps. We've explained the facts of being a woman to her and she understands them. You didn't even give your daughter a chance.
And don't give me that breast cancer avoidance BS because you still have your breasts you selfish whore. You do exams. You check for bumps. You go in for a mammo. You don't cut the goddamn breasts off a four year old. That's just sick.
Blah! Now I've made myself angry again. I'm going to go kill gnomes before Siri comes home.
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| Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
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3:50 am
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So, somehow I missed this, even though they released it everywhere in every format on the same day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxOtSWYPJqQ
*shrugs* It sure is pretty and has a good point, though it's a bit preachy... even though there isn't much other way to be when talking about environmental stuff.
So I went to the state fair a few days ago with mom and we walked around getting signatures for these petitions for the health care bill. I got about 20-something, and so did ma. There was one crazy woman... I saw a donkey on her shirt and went "Would you like to sign this petition for health care reform?" Then she turns to face me and I see there's an elephant coming out of the donkeys butt... >_> "So and so for senate" or something written on it.
So off course she starts going on (speaking REALLY LOUD and fast) and on about how that symbol on the top (Obama's campaign symbol) is the symbol of the government and how the government is out to get us so we shouldn't let them take control of us, and if the government was trying to help they wouldn't be trying to kill all of the elderly and force people to have abortions. She kept calling me "sweety" and "honey" too. >_> Her poor son was standing there waiting for her to get done. At one point he was like "God, for real?"
So then mom went off on her, well... explained things to her (how there's nothing about killing off elderly or even anything about the living wills anymore because they had to take that out after everyone freaked out about their imaginary death panels AND nothing about abortions in the bill, except the statement that this health care CAN'T be used for abortions... and Ma's read the whole damn bill) and the woman basically just went "Oh, okay. Well good luck with your petition." and walked off... after trying to state a couple more times that the little "O" on the top of the page was really the sign of the devil and that we were resigning our souls to eternal damnation (okay, not quite what she was saying... more just the same of "But the gov't is eeevil!"... but she was acting like it).
Also, Heidi's dad died. He had sleep apnea and had gone in for a simple knee surgery. They kept him overnight, and at some point he'd pulled his tubes out and stopped breathing. No one was making rounds and checking on people so he'd not had oxygen for about 4-5 hours. They stabilized his body but after doing scans the found he was gone. So a couple days ago, think it was Sunday, Heidi and her family all got together to pull the plug.
I'm going to try and make it up there for the funeral just to give some peer support, since she doesn't really have anybody up there except family. We're heading up Wednesday, staying the night and my grandpa and grandmas, going to the Funeral on Thursday, then heading back down to home.
Also also... went to the Ren Fest with Anna and Laura, and Tina and her boyfriend. Laura and I got separated from the group. Tried finding them but couldn't see them, so we just decided to keep wandering a bit, thinking maybe they wanted to do things separately since they weren't calling Laura's cell. Not to mention right before we got split up Anna had offered me her cell phone in case I got lost. Laura and I had lots of fun just meandering around. Caught a washing well wenches show, bought some honey mead, I bought a flute for mom what was in the key of C *shrugs* To me being at Ren Fest is about the same as going to the Mall of America. You just kind of wander around.
So later Anna called us and we met up to leave. Anna was pissed.
She'd wanted to do things together and was very angry we didn't call her when we got separated... though... I pointed out she hadn't called us either. She didn't seem to believe me when I told her we'd tried looking for her and said she was only about 10 feet behind us before we just "ran off." Bluh.
So she fumed for a while, talked to us about how what was mainly pissing her off was how Tina's boy kept checking his watch and asking if it was time to go yet and that sort of thing. We ended up going back to my house and watching some Doctor Who (we're trying to get her caught up so she can watch Torchwood too).
I should call 'em and let them know I'm going to be gone this week...
So found this, it's funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxOtSWYPJqQ
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| Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
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3:52 pm
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So Heidi's dad had a heart attack and is in intensive care. They're going to do something to relieve the swelling in his brain. I guess he'd had some sort of pain last night, possibly that was the attack right there or some sort of little attack, and went in today when it just got to be too much. Heidi called quick just cause she needed someone to talk to. She's right at the hospital with him. Dunno if she's alone there or not, didn't think to ask her that, but I hope she isn't.
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| Saturday, August 22nd, 2009
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2:41 am
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| Friday, August 21st, 2009
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11:46 pm
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Oh. My. GOD!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7oGx2dImE8
That's a gem from April Winchell's blog which I was paging through after showing it to Heidi who is having problems with Skylar which I will not get into because it's really none of my business... but he's kind of acting like a kid. Anyways, she needed cheering up and getting her mind off things and this seemed the perfect way... much better than WoW.
Aaaanyways, a shit ton happened today.
First, I was in a protest this morning. Yup, went to stand in front of Franken's place of office with signs supporting the Public Option. Then this woman in hospital scrubs called up a couple friends and they showed up with signs they pulled from their bony asses and started yelling at us. I went up and tried having reasonable convo with one and all she did was yell in return. So I turned around and walked away.
Then a Franken Rep came down (Who must have put every damn character point he had into charisma, cause DAMN! Was he charismatic!) and explained to us Franken was in complete support of the public option and we were welcome to continue waving our signs to drivers and such. Then he took comments from each of us, and each of us, in turn, was interrupted by the yowling of Ann Coulters hell-fiend (this skinny blond woman who kept claiming to have a son with special needs whose medical care would be ruined by this public option when this has nothing to do with that system, and parents who were dying to get off Medicare because the government is trying to assassinate them specifically), even myself.
They almost bated one of the women into a fight. She was new and had a disability and just kept interrupting her and the poor thing just couldn't take it anymore, so she got up in the she-whores face and started yelling back. The Franken Rep even patted her on the shoulder to get her to calm down.
So after the Rep went back up, Mom actually got Skeletor alone for a moment and discussed things with her a while, calmly. They left shortly after, all smiles and waves saying "Maybe see you at Gillette!" to Ma. Afterward mom came up to me and said "She doesn't have a child with Cerebral Palsy. Her story made no sense."
So we went to eat lunch after a bit of chatting with the others, who were all very nice. Then we went home after being stuck in 2pm rush hour traffic... in Saint Paul.
Then... after the dog ate my dinner off the stove, Ma, Siri and myself went to Papa's and got Gelatto (I don't know how to spell it, and spell check keeps trying to tell me to change it to Fellatio... which I know we didn't get) and listened to this Camden Music School concert that they put on every Friday in the street there. It was pretty nice.
Then I came home to cyber shit hitting the fan and so I had to cheer Heidi up.
I know they work out sometimes, but I really don't like online relationship drama. It's even worse than real life relationship drama, because online you can just walk away from the other person or put them on mute or whatever... which is bullshit.
I mean, I don't think Skylar's intentionally meaning to be an ass to Heidi, but he is none the less. Especially when I get her calmed down, go to tell him it's safe to call her, and he's not there (he'd gone to a movie). That's fine, but then when Heidi texts him asking if he wanted to call her and he just says "Nah, I'll call you when I get home. Love you." (when she'd told him she was going to take a sleeping pill to try and get her sleep schedule back on track at 10pm, and it was about 9:50pm)... doesn't really help his case.
Maybe a "Nah, get some sleep and I'll call you in the morning. Love you." or a "It's all alright, just worry about getting your sleep for now and we'll talk later." Not an implied "Hey, I don't wanna talk right now so why don't you wait up by your phone until I get home then we can talk on my schedule." I know that's not what he meant, but god dammit, he's really gotta start thinking about what he says before he says it.
And now... WHO WANTS A SACK OF CRAP!?!?!? http://www.aprilwinchell.com/2009/06/19/my-shit-doesnt-stink/
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6:17 am
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THANK THE LORD OR LORDESS OR WHOEVER!
The day after making that last entry I'm passing by a TV on the wall of a restaurant. It's on FOX news... you know the guys that suck? Well, this one instance they made me oh so happy.
Basically their story was "Every news reporter screwed up about that whole Public Option being taken out thing and were really just reporting rumors they heard from other people rather than finding the news out for themselves, but we're not going to admit we did anything wrong. Instead we're going to blame this person no one's heard of whose story we jumped on like a pack of wild turkeys aiming to get our heads cut off so we can run around like mad rather than do some real work! YEAH!"
So, the world isn't quite ending as I knew it just yet.
But... this makes me even more afraid... because... Well, if all these news reporters and news stations are getting their news from each other, and it was very apparent it was pretty much every single station broadcasting this "breaking news," where are we getting any REAL news from? Does that really not exist any more?
So... my plan is to not watch or read ANYTHING until the voting is all done. *nods*
At least I'll be smarter than all the reporters are then.
Lastly... I'm really starting to like April Winchell more and more. The topic of voice actors came up and I went to show Heidi my favorite... couldn't find her on imdb for some reason (I was trying to find her through her voice of Terk in the Disney Tarzan series)and couldn't find the series. Then I couldn't even find her name by looking up the Darkwing Duck characters... Bianca Beakley had no voice actress listed next to her.
Found her by looking up Terk and then individually everyone that's ever played her. And yeah, she was Bianca Beakley, a couple characters from the Mighty Ducks, all the female adults basically in Recess, Pepper Anne's mom, various people in the Clerks series... etc etc etc.
So then I find her blog. http://www.aprilwinchell.com/
Cracked. Me. The. Hell. Up.
She even has a post about making your own Kenyan birth certificate. XD My favorite so far is the one about the cremation jars being made to look like the deceased persons head.
Still don't know who she is? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoCj34fMmdc
Now you know.
...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQwbDUOXxgE
Now you really know.
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| Sunday, August 16th, 2009
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12:40 pm
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Haven't really wirtten lately, haven't felt like doing much.
They cut out the public option and so within a years time our family won't be able to afford to live. We already can't afford our pets. Chance has been overdue for her heartworm exams for about a year now.
I voted for Hilary for a reason, and I'll never forget that. I knew she would have gotten things done, and not pussy footed around the 6 remaining republicans like they still mattered. They're not who voted for you, Obama. They're not the reason you receive a record setting amount of votes and a record-breaking margin between you and the Republican Candidate.
Dad says we can't go to Canada because we'd have no job, we'd all need to buy passports with our lack of money, we'd get no money for selling our house, and they're not just handing out green cards.
I'm starting to believe undoubtedy what my Dad's been saying now.
Obama's going to sit and do nothing, there will be no public option, things will get worse and worse, Obama and the democratic party will get blamed... then Palin will get in.
Then I'll be living in the gutter right along my sister if she's still alive, and I doubt my parents would still be alive long without their meds and hospital visits now.
It was nice knowing you folks.
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| Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
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4:01 am
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So... I'm devistated. Slowly, over the past few months, I've noticed some of my pictures looking like they were losing pixels at the bottoms. Like some wierd digital worm was just eating it's way up them. It only happened very gradually so I didn't think much of it, and it seemed centered in my Yaoi folder. Mleh.
So I ignored it and put it off.
Then the bottom line of one of my art pics appeared to be eaten away. I had this backed up on Photobucket so I went to go download it from there... but the pic on Photobucket had the same line. It must have been there when I uploaded it but I don't remember it at all.
So I just cropped off the bottom centimeter or so and it was fine.
Then today I was cleaning my desktop, placing files I'd just downloaded quick and left in the correct folders as I do every once in a while when things get cluttered. I had a vintage erotica pic I'd found. Opened my vintage erotica only to find most of it had fallen prey to this affliction.
So I took action! No one messes with my vintage erotica!
I resigned myself to deleting every last piece showing any sign of the... um... wormy... pixel virus, and hunted down a good portion to grab again. Some I couldn't find, and I lost a very good many beautiful nudish women folk. There was one I bent the rules for though. I couldn't find it again, so I opened up GIMP, sliced off the bad bits (her legs were really long anyways... *cough*) and saved it again under a completely different name and deleted the old.
Hopefully this will stem the tide of disease running rampant through my computer. I really hope this is some major issue that's starting to speed up.
Oddest thing though... it hasn't touched my Yuri. >_>
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| Monday, August 3rd, 2009
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2:07 am
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Okay... updated my comic... after 2 or so years... http://www.drunkduck.com/Something_Witty/
Once again a warning... a couple pages back there is straight up mansex. Probably shouldn't have used "straight in the sentence. Anyways, it's not part of the comic, but I put it there as partial joke, partial test to see how much they'd let me actually post there (in other words how much freedom I really had), and as partial atonement for my lack of update. I wasn't let down in any of those reasons as the responses were mostly positive.
I feel I've managed to relearn how to use pastels. You can see from the previous pages (aside from the mansex) I'd lost touch with my favorite media since probably my first year of college when art classes slowly became something "unnecessary" and more in my way than an enjoyable escape.
I found I was afraid of using too much pastel, mentally worried I'd ruin my lines, and was only using it like I was filling in a coloring book (and truthfully I've never been to good at choosing the right colors for things so faint colors have always been best... which for some reason I couldn't seem to do anymore either). It became a lot of work trying so hard to stay in the lines when that's not the nature of pastels. I'd get pissed when fixative didn't really seem to work... even after 10 or so layers. I think that's why I stopped maybe, and for so long. I was just worn out from not getting it right.
So I drew Rehdd... I think I posted it a while back... sort of as an experiment, thinking to myself that I just didn't care anymore. When drawing Rehdd I had no lines apart from a rough light pencil mark for where I wanted the big red blob to go, the big black blob to go, and the little white blob for her face. Then I started by just filling up these areas with as much pastel as I could rub off onto the page.
Man that was fun.
Then I crammed more pastel on top. Then when it came time for the details it was like playing in sand. X3 Like pouring little lines of sand on top of sand. And I didn't want to stop. I'd originally planned to do a few experimental pieces like this, because I wasn't sure if it'd look like crap or not... but this piece took me about 3 days. Not because I wanted to perfect anything, but because I wanted to play with the sand more.
Looking at this piece I can see a little of that fun I had but it is still a bit shaky. I can't seem to get the perfectionist out of me, and that try for little perfect lines just seems to cause more things about it that I don't like.
We'll see if it was fun enough for me to continue though. I might forget.
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